Asian guys like what kind of girl

Friends casually called us racial slurs. I brushed most of these comments off as well-intentioned, if misguided, jokes. And old stereotypes about Asian men persist. Grace Kao, a sociology professor at Yale University, has been tracking how Asian American men fare in the dating pool for years.

Her research offers a look at how much discrimination Asian American men face when dating. The data also showed that Asian women were half as likely to be unpartnered, compared with Asian men. She also found, in a paper she co-authored, that gay Asian men in America face the same discrimination in their love lives.

Kao says the statistics show a clear hierarchy based on race that leaves Asian men on the bottom rung. Back then, Chinese people were portrayed in ugly caricatures with buck teeth and slanted eyes.

During World War II, the same caricatures were used by cartoonists in an effort to drum up enthusiasm for a war against Japan. During the yellow peril era, the notion that Asian men were feminine or asexual also took root, says Connie So, an American ethnic studies teaching professor at the University of Washington. So says the stereotype started because, along with building railroads, many of the first male Chinese immigrants to the U.

Some people never make the cut just because they are already filtered out due to gendered and racialized stereotypes. Read more: Tinder profiles around the world: Same, same but different. A year-old Filipino-Canadian man, who started using online dating almost 20 years ago, shared his experience with me:. And if they were open to tell me, they say they were not attracted to Asian men.

Because they look at my ethnicity and they say no. Not that they would initially say no, but after they knew me, they would reconsider. When asked to compare meeting partners online and offline, a year-old white woman said she prefers meeting people in person because for her, that is where the judgemental walls come down:.

So there are a lot of walls you put up. For many online daters, the boundless promise of technology does not break social boundaries.

If racial discrimination that prevails in the intimate sphere is left unchallenged, many Asian men will repeatedly encounter sexual racism. Edition: Available editions United Kingdom. According to the U. This frustration is not being taken lightly. Asian males are not portrayed as masculine, whereas Asian females are stereotyped as submissive, exotic.

The good news for Asian males is that as online dating is becoming less and less taboo, there are a lot more asian dating sites ready to help make meeting potential matches easier. No argument there. And because of this, sometimes, there is some truth to the cultural differences of people raised with diverse upbringings. Before you make any accusations of me making sweeping generalizations, note that my points here are completely biased according to my own sample size. Here goes….

Myth 1: Asian guys fight for the bill. This swift technique is an ancient move passed on by his ancestors — a learned behavior through many many years watching his parents challenge their opponents to who gets to the cheque first. White guys are much more laid back and are happy to carry on the conversation for another 30 minutes while the check is laying on the table; some are even willing to go dutch to further showcase their support towards gender equality.

Myth 2: Asian guys are lightweights. Headache, red flushing, even itchiness will occur after a few sips of alcohol. Myth 3: Asian guys live with their parents. Many asians brought up in a traditional upbringing both men and women choose to live at home with their parents until they get married.

Asian culture emphasizes family and collectivity, so it is quite the norm to take care of your parents while living under the same roof. Also, living with a romantic partner pre-marriage is generally looked down upon, which is another reason why many asians wait until marriage to move out. Myth 4: Asian guys have better manners. There are many behaviours that are emphasized in a traditional asian culture. For example, at the dinner table, it is a blasphemy to serve yourself food first and immediately start eating.

You serve the person you are dining with first, and always offer the last bite. Unfortunately, we are influenced by what we see in the media whether we are conscious of it or not. Most depictions of Asian males in the popular media are not the same as their Caucasian counterparts. The odd Jackie Chan movie as the exception, you hardly see the Asian guy as hunky, masculine star of the show. Whereas in the 19th century, Asian men were portrayed at the other extreme in the 19th century: sexually dangerous and desirable.

In Asian culture, males are not encouraged to be expressive with their emotions. Crying is seen as weakness. Because this is engrained at such an early age, this may cause some Asian men to continue withholding emotion as they grow up.

Parents educate and try to push their children to work harder and achieve more by using negative language versus complimentary language. So in the case of this stereotype, it really depends on the person. Sure, an Asian guy will think bubble tea is a perfectly acceptable venue for a first date. Editions Quartz. More from Quartz About Quartz. Follow Quartz. These are some of our most ambitious editorial projects.

By Zheping Huang Reporter. Published June 14, This article is more than 2 years old. Sign me up. Update your browser for the best experience.